Yesterday I had one of those parenting moments.  The ones which, as they happen, you know are *significant* and *important* and would definitely make the final cut if this were an A&E reality show. My 9-yr-old daughter and I were walking through a supermarket parking lot when she noticed the hood ornament of a rather fancy car.  "Look, Mom....it's a peace sign!" she announced excitedly, because as we all know peace signs are super-cool-awesome.  I glanced up, and the weight of the moment settled on my shoulders.  My mind screamed "LIFE LESSON!! DON'T SCREW THIS UP!!!"  Geez, no pressure, Mind.
  "No, Zoe" I replied, "that's actually a Mercedes symbol.  They are there to announce that this car is expensive and fancy and cost a lot a money.  They are all about status..." I glanced down at Zoe's open, curious face, "which is something we don't care about."  I delivered this last part casually, but the message was certainly there.  BAM!  I followed it up with "Peace symbols are much more important.  They mean love and acceptance and have nothing to do with money."   We continued on, the subject changing as subjects are wont to do, but I was still feeling pretty smug.  "I nailed that bit of parental wisdom!" I thought.  My mind gave me a mental high-five, and my ego grew three sizes that day.  It's wonderful to be wonderful!  Until...
  It occurred to me that words don't mean much.  I mean, they DO, they say what we need to say (Thanks, John Mayer) but we all know that kids learn more from our actions than our words.  Tell you kids not to smoke, but do it with a cigarette hanging from your lips and the message may get lost somewhere.  Tell your kids money isn't important, but then bow down to the alter of the Gods of Fortune and once again your words lose their power.  So now it was time for some self-reflection.
   It's true that in our home, we don't pay much attention to "status"  The home itself is proof of that.  Small, old, and not revamped since the 1970s (wood paneling and shag carpet, anyone?) it will never grace the pages of "House Beautiful."  We were able to buy it for a very reasonable price when we were just starting out.  Most, if not all, of our contemporaries have moved on from their "starter homes" into larger, newer, more impressive houses.  We have not.  And it's not because we couldn't have done so....it's just that the sacrifices we'd have made just didn't seem worth it.  In order to afford the steep house payment a newer house would bring, both my husband and I would have to work full-time, which would mean that my career as a teaching assistant would be a thing of the past.   Now, my husband is a VERY hard worker, he is an amazing provider and his paychecks ARE our livelihood.  I am also a hard worker, but my hours are limited and my paychecks aren't that stellar. I have worked in other jobs, I do well in other jobs...but I LOVE what I do.  Like honestly love it.  And I'm really good at it.  Not to mention that over the years, I've been able to be home with the kids on weekends, holidays, summers...... This is a luxury which I've never taken for granted.  I couldn't ask for a better situation.  So living in a craptastic little house seems like a pretty fair trade.
  But let's say, by some strange chain of events, we WERE able to swing a newer, bigger house.  Obviously we would need newer, nicer furniture to go in said house.  What we own is primarily hand-me-downs, gifts, or are items made outright by my husband's own two hands.  We would also need new appliances, as we replace ours only as needed, and they don't exactly "match."  Oh, and we'd need some sort of decor as well.  We don't have that.....unless "family photos meets kids' artwork" is a thing.  The list goes on.  We'd need new towels, new bedding ( Hell, new BEDS) new new new NEW!!  Would it ever end?
   Oh, and once we had the shiny new home, wouldn't our shabby vehicles look awful parked in the driveway?  My husband owns a 1986 Toyota pickup which he rebuilt himself from the frame up.  I drive a 2001 Chevy Venture Van with a ding in the door and speakers which vibrate when I play my music loud enough for my liking.  But both vehicles work, and we haven't had a car payment in five years.  Would it be worth it to take on extra hours away from the family in order to swing a new car or two?
  For the sake of argument, say we somehow managed the big house and the fancy furnishings and a newer car.....Would we be happier?  Would we somehow be "better?"  Would we even still be "us?"  Now, I'm not being judgmental of anyone who has bigger/nicer/better things, and I'm not saying that such people made bad or wrong choices to have such things.  They are the fruits of hard work and I have nothing but respect for that. I'm just saying, that in OUR set of circumstances, it couldn't happen without a lot changes which I'm not sure I'm willing to make.  To me, it isn't worth it.
   Do I sometimes wish we had a bigger house?  Only always.  Heck, even just having more than one bathroom would be glorious.   Am I ever envious of others?  Yes, again, pretty much always.  I do appreciate nice things, and I love beauty, and really REALLY want a second bathroom. (Have I mentioned that one already?)  But I am content with what we have.  Our house keeps us warm, and dry, and we've made some really good memories here.  I'd be hard pressed to walk away even if I could.
  So, maybe we DON'T just talk the talk of the "money doesn't matter" set, maybe we are setting an example for our kids that shows that it's okay to WANT more, as long as you recognize that you don't NEED more.  I'll be happy if any part of that seeps into their consciousness.  I think they'll be happier for it.  But, like most parents, I do want to see my kids' lives be richer and fuller than my own.....so I hope to God they never EVER settle for just one bathroom.  Seriously.